


Talking About It

by thanku4urlove



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Comfort No Hurt, Communication, Established Relationship, Haircuts, Heteronormativity is One Hell of a Drug, Insecurity, Kisses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25388059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanku4urlove/pseuds/thanku4urlove
Summary: Jeonghan couldn't. He couldn't say it. He couldn't let himself be this insecure; not in front of other people, not anywhere but inside his own head. He was not this weak. But then he looked down at Seungcheol, at the care and adoration and concern completely visible on his face, and knew that he had to say it anyway.Jeonghan is nervous about how Seungcheol is going to react when he has to cut his hair forPretty Upromotions.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 18
Kudos: 191





	Talking About It

**Author's Note:**

> literally all I do is write short one-offs about svt members having healthy communication and comforting each other and you know what? that's okay

Jeonghan was surprised--but not at all upset--when Seungcheol came into their shared bedroom, laid almost completely on top of Jeonghan on his bed, and, without greeting or introduction, buried his face in his neck. 

“Hi.” Jeonghan said, laughing a little, reaching up to put a hand in Seungcheol’s hair, and Seungcheol pressed a kiss to his skin. “What’s going on?” 

Usually, when they were going to cuddle, they did so on Seungcheol’s bed. Both of their beds were small, but Seungcheol’s mattress was on the floor, so if someone fell off the bed they really just rolled a couple of inches, instead of actually becoming airborne for a moment and landing with a loud thump that had the potential to wake whoever else was sleeping in the room at the time. As it was now, Jeonghan had an arm looped around Seungcheol’s waist to keep his boyfriend on top of him. 

“I’m going to kiss your neck, and you’re going to tell me what’s wrong.” Seungcheol said, pulling back to look at Jeonghan. The words were playful, but Jeonghan could tell that Seungcheol was serious, could tell that he’d noticed something was off, and that he was genuinely worried. 

“How could anything be wrong if you’re kissing me?” Jeonghan asked back, giving him a smile. Seungcheol smiled back, just a little, tucking Jeonghan’s hair behind his ear. 

“Don’t try to be sneaky.” He said, and Jeonghan could tell that the sweet words hadn't been a sufficient distraction. “I can tell that something is bothering you. I want to talk about it.” 

Talk about it. Jeonghan wasn’t good at talking about it. He was good at ignoring it, at laughing it off, at pretending it didn’t exist. But he had learned, even before he’d started dating Seungcheol, that Seungcheol liked to talk about it. And yes, it was healthier in the long run, but the benefits were hard to reconcile with the mortifying embarrassment that always came with voicing his insecurities. 

As he’d promised, Seungcheol began placing light kisses on Jeonghan’s neck, all of them sweet and chaste, and Jeonghan let out a breath. He knew exactly what it was that Seungcheol was talking about, but he hadn’t thought it was noticeable. He hadn’t planned on saying anything. He’d simply decided to let it happen, wait for the other shoe to drop, and had resolved not to cry when it did. 

“I’m getting a haircut tomorrow.” He finally said. 

They were going to release an album soon. They were going to have a comeback, and they were going to begin shooting the music video for their title track, _Pretty U,_ in a couple of days. Jeonghan’s style was changing, going from his colored, past-shoulder length hair to a short black bob. 

“Are you afraid you won’t like it?” Seungcheol asked, his voice gentle, and while he was glad his boyfriend hadn’t laughed at him, the genuine concern sounded so silly to Jeonghan’s ears. He’d always thought that girls were just being dramatic wherever they cried over bad haircuts, but here he was, in the same situation. 

“Not really. It’s not me, I guess, that I’m worried about.” 

“The fans?” Seungcheol asked. “You can trust them, Jeonghan.”

“It’s not them either.” 

Seungcheol was just looking at him now, completely uncomprehending. 

“I thought you wanted shorter hair.” He finally said. “You kept talking about how damaged it was, and how you wanted to cut it off.” 

“I did. I do, I mean. I do want short hair. But I also... I want...” 

He couldn’t. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t let himself be this insecure; not in front of other people, not anywhere but inside his own head. He was not this weak. But then he looked down at Seungcheol, at the care and adoration and concern completely visible on his face, and knew that he had to say it anyway. 

“I want you to still like me.” 

Seungcheol looked at him like he wasn’t speaking Korean. It was about how he reacted, too, when he spoke. 

“Hannie, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m not...” Jeonghan swallowed. “I’m not going to look like this anymore.” 

“It’s just a haircut. You’re still going to look like you.” 

“Yeah, but--” He couldn’t do this. This was so idiotic, and he knew it, and he couldn’t help it. “I’m going to have short hair.” 

Seungcheol fully sat up, completely got off of him, and Jeonghan’s heart sank. 

“You're going to have to explain this to me." Seungcheol said. "I don't understand."

Jeonghan let his lips pout, putting on a voice that was just a bit cuter, just a bit whinier than normal, but not enough to truly be considered manipulative, hoping that he could distract from the conversation instead of letting it continue. 

"I thought you were going to kiss my neck." He complained. Seungcheol gave a small laugh, reaching out and taking Jeonghan's hands instead.

"Come on." Seungcheol said. "Talk to me." 

Jeonghan stared at their hands for a moment, at the way Seungcheol’s thumbs slid lightly over his fingers. 

“I’m your first boyfriend.” He finally said. Seungcheol nodded. “You only ever dated girls before me. I’m even--I’m even one of the first guys you liked.”

He stopped again, but Seungcheol was simply sitting there, doing nothing more than giving Jeonghan his full attention. Jeonghan wanted Seungcheol to read his mind, to understand what he was trying to say without him having to say it.

“...what does all that have to do with your hair?” Seungcheol finally prompted, and Jeonghan sighed, drawing their connected hands closer so they both rested on his lap. 

“My hair is long, and it’s pretty, and… And it makes me look like a girl.” Jeonghan said. Seungcheol opened his mouth immediately, but Jeonghan shook his head at him. “Don’t--you can’t say it’s not true, because it is. I know it is. And I don’t--I don’t mind being pretty. I _like_ being pretty but, but…” 

He hated this. He hated “talking about it”. 

“You’re able to do things, when I look like this. You can hold me, and you can say I’m your ideal type, and you can pretend to smell my hair. And it’s okay, because I look like a girl. People don’t mind, and--and you don’t mind either. You like it. But the shorter my hair gets, and the more I’ll look like a man, I just think that--” 

“Jeonghan.” Seungcheol’s grip had tightened on his hands. 

“What?” 

“Jeonghan…” Seungcheol took Jeonghan’s close this time, bringing them together in front of his mouth so he could kiss the knuckles of his pointer fingers on both hands at the same time. “Of course I like it. Of course I like holding you and telling people that I like you. Because I do like you.” 

“Yes, and--” 

“And I’m going to like you no matter what you look like, not because the media is painting you as…” Jeonghan watched him struggle for a moment to find the word, “--as _feminine_ right now. You think that--Jeonghan, what did you think I meant when I told you I was bisexual?” 

He had a small smile on his face, and in spite of everything, Jeonghan laughed a little.

“I don’t know.” 

“I don’t want you to be a girl. I wouldn’t be happier if you were a girl. You're a man, and I like you like that. Don’t you think that if I was going to have some regret, or feel badly about it, that it would have happened already? The first time I took your pants off, maybe?”

Jeonghan’s face burned at that, and he tried to pull his hands away. Seungcheol didn’t let him, laughing, and Jeonghan rolled his eyes instead. 

“I was glad, actually. I kind of knew what to do, a little bit. Because honestly, I still don’t know how a bra works.”

“...shut up, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan told him, and Seungcheol laughed again. 

“You’re going to get a haircut, and it’s going to look cute.” Seungcheol said. “Because you’re cute. And if you truly don’t like it, I’ll talk to someone, okay?” 

“Okay.” Jeonghan said quietly, partially as an agreement and partially because it felt like the conversation was ending, and he was more than happy to let it. 

“And Han?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for talking to me about this.” Seungcheol’s voice was soft with understanding, searching his face for signs of lingering discomfort, and Jeonghan had the sudden, surprising ache that he might be in love with Seungcheol. He didn’t want to say so though, not wanting to be the one to do it first, feeling a little too raw and exposed from the conversation they’d just had. Instead he moved across the mattress, putting himself in Seungcheol’s lap. 

“What’s going on?” Seungcheol asked, Jeonghan recognizing the echo of his words from earlier, deciding to do the same. 

“I’m going to kiss your neck,” he started, “And you’re going to tell me how pretty I am.”

Seungcheol let out a loud laugh, wrapping his strong arms around Jeonghan’s waist. Pressed so close to Seungcheol’s chest, Jeonghan could feel the sound as well as hear it, the vibration a happy one, his lips curling into a smile he couldn’t help. 

“You’re beautiful.” Seungcheol told him, Jeonghan humming in response as he placed a kiss, just gently, to the skin of Seungcheol’s neck. 


End file.
